The Day I Turned into an Addict

A Tragic Love Affair
Poem By Angalia Bianca April 17, 2018

I was just 9 years old when you first fooled me. You disguised yourself as a harmless little white pill; in fact your disguise was so good that it took 8 years to learn your real name. Your introduction promised me self-esteem, confidence and beautiful dreams that only you could provide.
I learned your name on that first night I sat on a dark floor with a needle in my arm. I dreamed while the warm brown liquid rushed through my veins. I felt the euphoria of your power. I looked up to you and fell in love. You told me you loved me and would always be there. You took me to places I could have never imagined. We made a pack on an unwritten contract.
You claimed my soul while never tipping your hand. You sent me out onto the streets to steal and taught me hate. You took my logic, my pride, morals and my dignity. You took my beautiful looks right from under me. I never noticed when I looked in the mirror. You owned me yet I never knew I was under your spell.
You taught me how to make excuses to advocate for you which I proudly did!
You stole 36 years of my life and made sure I was too high to notice. I knew you controlled me on that day you brought me to my knees so I’d beg you for one more. You turned on me and told me NO! You let the pain creep in so I would stay loyal and never cross you. The withdrawal was too much to bear so I willfully gave you the rest of me. In spite of it all, I still loved you.
You took my family, my children and everyone I loved. You killed my friend’s right in front of me and tried to kill me too.
You sent me to prison and kept me alone and homeless. You lied when you made me believe that only you cared about me.
You tried so hard to hold on to me till death do us part but I broke free. Its been 8 years since you entered my soul.
The only promise you kept was that you would always be there.
I have become strong, powerful and relentless against you. I learned everything about you and you won’t fool me again.
Now my promise to you HEROIN, I will not stop till I take YOU down.



2 thoughts on “The Day I Turned into an Addict

  1. Kathy Anderson

    OMG this is so devasting. Like MJ I was screaming NO as I read. Thank God you did not lose your life so you could live to tell your story. All those warning signs…no lights, no money, dope sickness, and nothing stopped you. You did it anyway. Why? You didn’t know better, didn’t care, didn’t love yourself? Or is this simply the addicts path…not by choice but because that is the genetic pull to substances that take us out of reality?

    Liked by 1 person

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